Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I actually pay taxes

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy bullshit

For those who were actually old enough to have experienced the 1970s and not for those who were born in the 70s. What were the pros and cons of that era?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

How do you get a girl to like you?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

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A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Is Jesus God almighty?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

I can count

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know who the president of Turkey really is

With 'I Love Lucy' and beyond, Desi Arnaz helped shaped TV as we know it - NPR

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What song are you listening to right now? What does it mean to you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I see through liars

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can read

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions